Stigmas and Stamen
by Sins of Angels
Summary: Lily's childhood isn't as sunny as it seems, and now that she's growing, Hogwarts coming into view, her perspectives might just change. Completely AU, just a warning. Rated for content.
1. First Meeting

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, and J.K.R. would choke me if she saw what I'm doing to her characters….so, not mine. Yeah.

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Sins of Angels: This takes place in a very weird section of my brain and, by consequence, is completely AU and about Lily and everyone else in her year. It's rated the way it is because there are some very disturbing themes and images that are in this chapter, and even more disturbing still in chapters to come. Might be a big story, might be a one shot, and might just be seven chapters. I don't know yet. And, before you ask, no, I am not disturbed. I just think that to have someone go through something like that would make them that much…well, you'll see. Enjoy.

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Chapter 1 – First Meeting

Lily carefully took her bag from the shelf, balancing the packages as only an eleven-year-old could. Her father glared at her.

"If you drop those, you're going to be in it tonight!" he warned as she flinched, remembering what had happened the last time.

He had warned her not to cause trouble, and she had nodded hurriedly to show her enthusiasm for being good. However, before she knew that she was a witch, she had gotten scared when the shelf fell at the store with a loud noise and jumped. Next thing she knew, all of the products were on fire. She screamed and ran out, but that didn't stop what happened later.

It had been going on since her mother left, all those years ago. After all, it was the standard punishment, her father said. And he knew better than she did.

Balancing the packages, she slowly went from shop to shop, adding to her pile. She got her wand as the last thing, smiling with happiness for the countless time that day.

Her father, however, had gotten fed up with her and said that he'll take some of her things and wait in the car. He let her have one more hour for anything she might need. She quickly picked up what she had to and a few extra things, just in case. She balanced the stack of packages once more, and was walking along back to the Leaky Cauldron when she bumped into someone, scattering her things.

"Oh, Marlin, I'm sorry," the boy said. He looked about her age and had very light brown hair. He smiled at her. "I didn't mean to do it."

"It was my fault," Lily said, and then remembered her manners. The things her father had taught her came back and she decided to apologize the way she knew was right. She picked up hr things and stacked them next to her, standing up in front of the boy.

"I'm Remus Lupin," he said, smiling again. Lily stood on her toes and gave him a kiss on the lips, after which she picked up her things and rushed out, not wanting to be late. The boy, Remus, just stood there, speechless. He turned to look at her again, but she was gone, rushing out of the Leaky Cauldron.

"You're five minutes late," he father said as she got in the car. Lily looked at him in horror.

"But it's not my fault!" she protested, which only made his stare worse.

"Really? Then whose is it?"

"Remus Lupin's," Lily said quietly.

"A boy, no doubt?"

"I ran into him, dad, I had to gather my things and apologize."

"Apologize?"

"In the way you said I should."

The hand came down hard on her cheek. "Don't you ever listen? Did you tell anyone I told you that?"

"No," Lily sobbed, rubbing her cheek. "You told me not to."

He relaxed, slightly. "Good. At least you learned something. But that still won't change what happens tonight."

As he drove off, Lily stared out into the window. Her sister had gone for the weekend to visit her mother, which meant the whole house was hers and her father's. Taking care not to show it, her eyes filled with tears.

He opened the door to their house and carefully set her things on the table. "Well?" he asked, turning back to face her. She gulped as she closed the door and drew the curtains.

"I'm sorry, dad," she whispered. He came up to her and put his hand under her chin.

"Sorry isn't good enough, is it, my little angel?" he said. Lily shook her head and kissed her father.

And, as it always was, his hands were on her shoulders, preventing escape. His tongue ventured in and out of her mouth as the tears threatened to come again. But that wasn't the worst of it. Slowly, he retracted and unzipped his pants.

"You know what to do," he commanded coldly. Lily sobbed only once as she knelt down on the floor and opened her mouth in the way that was far too familiar.

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Sins of Angels: See what I mean about the rating and my personal disclaimer that I am not disturbed up there? Well, anyway, let me know if you want me to keep going with it, because I have a basic outline of what will happen in my head, but I don't want to be stoned to death by people who think that this shouldn't be on here. If I get even one positive review, I'll update. So choose sides carefully. And yes, it does eventually get better than this. Anyway, please review, even if you hate it and want to kill me. I like hearing those too... 


	2. New School

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, and J.K.R. would choke me if she saw what I'm doing to her characters….so, not mine. Yeah.

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Sins of Angels: Well, seeing as no one has yelled at me yet, I'm going to go ahead and continue with the story. So, please keep reading and review, like I said, the review can be good, bad, horrible, and/or want to kill me for doing this. I just want to know what readers think. So, here you go. The chapters may get longer soon, although I'm not promising anything. Enjoy.

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Chapter 2 – New School 

Lily bid her father goodbye at the platform, after promising not to let on about their "father-daughter super secret quality time", which really meant any punishment she had received. She carefully worked the spit in her mouth. She didn't like to swallow, not so soon after…well, she just didn't like it.

"And make sure you come home for Christmas, I've got presents for you," he father said happily. She smiled, painfully. It wasn't as if he had anything to be sad about. He _enjoyed _punishing her.

She dragged her trunk on the train and waved goodbye. Carefully, she swallowed, biting back a whimper. Her mouth was far too dry to put it off any longer.

She heaved her trunk into an empty compartment and sat by the window. There was always something so…safe about a window. Perhaps it was because she was mere steps away from freedom. Or maybe it was a psychological thing, the fact that her father always shut them and pulled the curtains when he…

She liked windows. She pulled her knees up to her chin and rested her head there, as if the closer she was to the floor, the worse off she was. The little aches would wear away soon, she was used to them.

The door opened and someone walked in. She turned to see Remus Lupin himself, smiling at her and turning red at the same time.

"Hello," he said quietly.

"Remus, you're holding up the progression!" someone from behind him complained. Lily jumped at the loud voice and merely glanced at the boy who walked in after Remus, grinning.

"Sirius, couldn't you be just a bit louder? I don't think they heard you in China!" a boy behind him complained. He had untidy black hair and hazel eyes, which were only accented by his round glasses. Lily giggled softly at his joke and his eyes locked with hers.

For a brief moment, both had this urge to talk to each other the rest of the way. But then the boy looked over at his friend, Sirius, and shook his head at the smirk.

"Don't matter if they heard me in China, mate! It's Hogwarts we're going to!"

Remus sighed heavily. The boy just walked all the way in and behind him came yet another boy, a little chubby but otherwise smiling.

"I'm James Potter," the boy with the glasses said, smiling at Lily. "That's Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and – "

"Remus Lupin," Lily finished for him. James nodded. "We've met."

"More than met, I heard," Sirius boasted. Lily and Remus both began to blush.

"Shut up, Sirius," Remus said quietly.

"Oh, come on, Remus. It's not every day a girl kisses you on the lips!"

Remus was already tomato red, and Lily was hiding it by staring out of the window. _They obviously don't have sisters_, she thought. _The punishment must be different for boys._

James looked at her and then at Remus, up at the ceiling and finally leaned back in his chair. "Well, it's been an early morning. Goodnight," he said and slowly fell asleep. The others followed until only Lily was left awake, and even that didn't last long.

She jolted up as the train started to slow down. Looking at the four sleeping boys, she hurriedly remembered that they were supposed to be wearing robes. She pulled some out of her trunk and hurriedly put them on. She then bit her lip and thought of what to do.

When her father had to wake up, he had given her very specific instructions on how to do it. But he also told her not to tell anyone about what they do. She bit her lip.

Carefully, she gently shook the closest boy, Sirius. He jumped up in alarm, looked around wildly and then checked the time. His eyes widened as he shook everyone else awake and turned to Lily, whom he pushed out of the compartment, muttering about changing into robes.

Standing in the hallway, Lily bit her lip again. Maybe she had done it wrong. Maybe she had to wake them up as she woke up her father after all. He said it's good manners, and she always tried to have good manners. But to those four boys, who obviously haven't seen a girl apologize, from Remus's reaction to her apology, they probably haven't seen someone woken up that way either.

Five minutes later, James opened the door. Lily looked up at him, close to tears.

"We're done, you can come back in…hey, what's wrong?" he asked, looking at her, confused.

Lily shook her head hurriedly and went in, getting her trunk and belongings ready. Before the others could react, she dragged her trunk out of the room and whispered "Goodbye," to them. The train soon stopped and she got off, looking at the station and the huge lake in front of her. She climbed into a boat and was soon joined by five girls. The boats set off, and soon a castle came into view unlike anything Lily had seen save in her dreams. She grinned widely as she welcomed her new home, Hogwarts.


End file.
